The process begins with an informal no-obligation interview, where we get to know each other, and see how comfortable we are together. For the heightened day of a ceremony, you want to know that your officiant will put you at ease.
This meeting is also when I find out what you have in mind, and when I first offer suggestions about what you might include.
If you decide to work with me, we go on from there to develop the ceremony. I will ask you to fill out a questionnaire, and in some cases I may contact your friends and family. I continue to provide you with suggested readings, rituals, vows and anything else that you may request.
I write the ceremony and you respond to it, telling me what you want to keep, and what you want to change. The final ceremony will be completely your choice, with as many rewrites as needed.
A day or two before the wedding, we will gather for a rehearsal, ideally at the event location. I will work with the entire wedding party and readers and other participants.
On the day of the ceremony, I will arrive early to make sure that the space is set up as we want it to be, and to communicate with the coordinator, musicians, photographer et al to ensure that all runs smoothly.
And then the tears and laughter.